COMEDGETS

These are questions and actual answers of contest participants!
from : maicaliboon.wordpress

1. Q: “Ano sa Tagalog ang teeth?” A: “Utong!”
2. Q: “Kung ang light ay ilaw, ano naman ang lightning?” A: “Umiilaw!”
3. Q: “Kung vegetarian ang tawag sa kumakain ng gulay, ano ang tawag sa kumakain ng tao? A: “Humanitarian?”
4. Q: “Sina Michael at Raphael ay mga.” A: “Ninja?”
5. Q: “Ano ang karaniwang kasunod ng kidlat?” A: “Sunog!”
6. Q: “Magbigay ng sikat na Willie.” A: “Willie da pooh!”
7. Q: “Ang mga Hindu ay galing sa aling bansa?” A: “Hindunesia?”
8. Q: “Anong hayop si King Kong?” A: “Pagong!”
9. Q: “Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain.” A: “Tae!”
10. Q: “Saang bansa matatagpuan ang mga Canadians?” A: “Canadia!”
11. Q: “Kumpletuhin - Little Red.” A: “Ribbon!”
12 Q: “Ano ang tinatanggal sa itlog bago ito kainin?” A: “Buhok?”
13. Q: “Magbigay ng pagkain na dumidikit sa ngipin.” A: “Tinga!”
14. Q: “Anong oras kadalasang pinapatay ang TV?” A: “Pag balita?”
15. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa anak ng taong grasa?” A: “Baby oil?”
16. Q: “Saan karaniwang ginagawa ang mga sweets na ginagamit sa halu-halo?” A: “Sweetserland?”
17. Q: “Sinong higanteng G ang tinalo ni David?” A: “Godzilla?”
18. Q: “Ano ang mas malaki, itlog ng ibon o sanggol ng tao?” A: “Itlog ng tao!”
19. Q: “Anong S ang tawag sa duktor nag nago-opera?” A: “Sadista?”
20. Q: “Blank is the best policy.” A: “Ice tea?”
22. Q: “Saan binaril si Jose Rizal?” A: “Sa likod!”
23. Q: “Fill in the blanks - Beauty is in the eye of the ____.” A: “Tiger?”
24. Q: “Ano ang kinakain ng monkey-eating eagle?” A: “Saging!”
25. Q: “Kung ang suka ay vinegar, ano naman ang Inggles ng toyo?” A: “Baliw!”
26. Q: “Anong tawag mo sa kapatid ng nanay mo?” A: “Kamag-anak!”
27. Q: “Saan nakukuha ang sakit na AIDS?” A: “Sa motel?”
28. Q: “Kung ang H2O ay water, ano naman ang CO2?” A: “Cold water!”
29. Q: “Sinong cartoon charcater ang sumisigaw ng yabba dabba doo?” A: “Si scooby dooby doo?”
30. Q: “Heto na si kaka, bubuka-bukaka.” A: “Operadang bakla?”
31. Q: “Ilan ang bituin sa American flag?” A: “Madami!”
32. Q: “Ano ang tawag mo sa taong isa lang ang mata?” A: “Abnormal!”

1. Pantech's Flexus Mobile Phone

Sometimes you get press releases through that are basically companies crowing about whatever award they've won recently, often awards that you've never heard of and, oddly, never hear of again afterwards. But here's one occasion when I think a company deserves it - Pantech have won the iF Design Award for Excellence & Innovation for, among other things, their Flexus 03 concept cellphone.

A slender slider with a trackball and Moto PEBL-esque keypad, here�s hoping the Flexus 03 gets earmarked for production soon!

Pantech also won an award for their �one touch open cap� packaging, consisting of an aluminium tube and discretely branded box.

1. TURN - le coup

2. LITER - le true

3. BEHIND - le coud

4. ALMS - le mousse

5. FIVE - le ma

6 . FLY - le pad

7.. DID NOT TAKE A BATH - le bag

8. CONFUSED - le tou

9. NO LONGER A VIRGIN - les pag

10. UNFAITHFUL HUSBAND - cou ma le wah

11. CITY - ce vou

12. DRUGS - sha vou

13. GOODBYE - va vou

14. MUSICAL BAND - com vou

15. BALD - cal vou

16. CAUGHT IN THE ACT - na vou coup , na coup!!

17. FEATHERS - valahe vou

18. UNCLEAR - ma la vou

19. SINK - lah va vou

20. COCONUT - vou coup

21. OPEN WIDE - vou camou

22. CIRCUMCISE - vou ratattoule

23. ALWAYS UP - va yagriah

24. YOU'RE HOT - le voug mou

25. WASHROOM - coup vaetta

26. JAIL - coup lou ngan

27. SUPER BOOBS - la que zõusõu

28. BUGGER - cõup la ngõut

29. WOUNDS - va cõup cängh

30. BIG MOUTH - chez moussa

31. NAGGER - vou nga nguerrah

32. TADPOLE - vou teiteh

Gaining knowledge of a new language helps prevent Alzheimer's

Notes: This is not intended to disrespect our National Heroes. Still, all the contributions and braveness they've shown for the FILIPINO PEOPLE to gain independence is VALUED.

1. Yaya buys food at McDo.
Crew: “Dito niyo na po ba kakainin?”
Yaya: “Puwede sa table?”

2. Kid: “Yaya look, boats!”
Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.”
Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?”
Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”

3. Woman carrying sick baby enters doctor’s office.
Doc: “Bottlefed?”
Woman: “ Brea - stfed po.”
(Doctors squeezes woman’s breasts repeatedly)
Doc: “Ayan ang problema, wala kang gatas, eh.”
Woman: “Yaya lang po ako doc! Yaya!”

4. The eggs that yaya bought turned out to be rotten.
She stormed back to the grocery and told the vendor:
“Manong, ang baho ng itlog niyo!”

5. My mom asked our yaya to buy Inquirer and Star.
Our yaya came back and said: “Ma’am, wala pong Inquirer
kaya bumili nalang po ako ng dalawang Star!”

6. Yaya: “Huhuhu…”
Ate: “O, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”
Ate: “Eh bakit ka ba tinitighiyawat?”
Yaya: “Kasi po di ako makatulog sa gabi.”
Ate: “O, bakit ka di makatulog?”
Yaya: “Kasi po may pinoproblema ako…”
Ate: “Ano naman ang pinoproblema mo?”
Yaya: “Kasi ate ang dami kong pimples!”

7. (Earlier) Mom: “Yaya, lagay mo yung pesto sa ref!”
(Later) Son: “Yaya, nakita mo PS2 ko?”
Yaya: “Nasa ref, pinalagay ng mama mo!”

8. Just now my maid burned a hole in my uniform.
I angrily asked her, “Paano mo naman nasunog to?”
She answered: “Secret!”

9. After watching a movie, our yaya blurted out :
“Ang pangit naman, happy ending!”

10. Sir: “Yaya, gawa mo ko ng kape. Yung decaf ha!”
Yaya: “Siyempre naman, alangan namang de-baso!”

11. Mom: “Yaya, magluto ka na pag-alis ko ha!”
Yaya: “Ano po lulutuin ko?”
Mom: “It’s up to you.”
(During dinner) Mom: “Yaya, bakit ketsup at tuyo ang ulam?”
Yaya: “Diba nung tinanong ko kayo kung anong lulutuin ko,
sabi niyo, ‘kitsup tuyo’!”

12. Our neighbor’s yaya: “Junjun, chew your mouth!”

13. Our yaya sa sari-sari store: “Miss isang Coke in can
at isang Sprite na Coke in can…”

14. SIR: “Inday, si sir mo to, nabangga kotse ko & I need cash!”
INDAY: “Aru, dugo-dugo gang ka no?”
SIR: “Gaga! Si sir mo talaga to!”
INDAY: “Gago ka rin! Si sir ang tawag sa kin…kapkeyk…”

15. I once asked my yaya where the Netherlands is located.
She answered: “Diba dun nakatira si Peter Pan?”

16. “O yaya, bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Ati, sabi kasi ng duktor, tatanggalan ako ng butlig!”
Ate: “Eh yun lang pala eh! Bakit ka umiiyak?”
Yaya: “Buti kung one lig lang, eh kung butlig, wala na kong ligs!”

17. We saw our yaya staring intently at the orange juice bottle.
Sabi namin: “Yaya, anong ginagawa mo?”
Yaya: “Shhh! Nakalagay sa bote, ‘concentrate’…”

18. Neighbor’s yaya telling her ward to climb down the stairs:
“Down to earth! Down to earth!”

19. My mom was going to buy our yaya a transistor radio.
Before my mom left the house, our yaya said,
“Ma’am, ang kunin niyo yung Ilokano ang salita ha!”

20. We paid for the tuition fee of our yaya’s son.
So one day I was reviewing him: “The Earth is the 3rd planet from the sun.
Ano ang katabi ng Mercury?” His mom, our yaya, answered:
“Parang Watson’s yata…”

21. Sir: “Yaya, natanggal mo yung mantsa sa barong ko?”
Yaya: “Opo! Tanggal na tanggal!”
Sir: “Good! Anong pinang-tanggal mo?”
Yaya: “Gunting, kuya! Gunting!”

22. Yaya to tricycle driver: “Magkano sa City Hall?”
Driver: “Ikaw lang?” Yaya: “Ay bakit, hindi ka sasama?”

23. (Si Kuya pumasok sa kuwarto ni Yaya)
Kuya: “Yaya…”
Yaya: “Koya, wag po! Wag Pooooo!”
Kuya: “Gaga! Uutusan lang kita!”
Yaya: “Si Koya naman…nagsa-suggest lang…”

24. Kid: “Yaya, spell orange?”
Yaya: “Depende. Yung kulay o yung prutas?”

25. Midget Yaya who was newly hired:
“Suwerte po kayo, ako ang napili niyo.
At least kung maibagsak ko si baby, mababa lang!”

26. Yaya to my brother: “Nag tothbrush ka na ng ipin?”
Bro: “Siyempre, alangan namang mag toothbrush ako ng kilikili!”

27. (after being scolded for breaking her promises):
“Ma’am, hindi na po ako mangangako ulit…promise!”

28. We had a yaya who claimed she was being courted by a kapre
in her province and wanted to take her to his kingdom.
Her reason for turning down the offer to be his queen?
“Kapre yun ma’am, malaki ang kwan nun! Wag na uy!”

29. AMO: “Bakit namatay ang aso?”
MAID: “Pinaliguan ko po ng laundry soap.”
AMO: “Nakamamatay ba yun?”
MAID: “Ewan ko nga po eh, pag-off ko ng washing machine patay na.”

30. Yaya picking up the phone saying: “ Hilo ?”
We noticed that she was holding the handset ng baligtad.
We told her, “Yaya, baliktad!”
Then Yaya said: “Lohi?”

31. Amo: Yaya use COOLING PLACE in a sentence.
Yaya: Sir! viry easy! iksample nagring yung phone,
(ring, ring, ring,) Yaya answered, " HILO , WHO'S COOLING PLACE?"

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. Censored by your son.
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: I've got new socks on!
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter gotta go, gotta go then sigh and say oops!
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says human head on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce You're one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask is that your beeper?
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say Ding! at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your personal space.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say I think it's getting larger.
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler Bad touch!

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact..
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

After few months of using the iPhone 3G, I can fairly say I have become familiar with this mobile device to share some insights on how it fares as a primary mobile phone.

First let me say that Apple has revolutionized the way we use our mobile phones. Before that, we are used to a lot of great phones that do a ton of tricks but often fail us when it’s time to connect to the net. In a way, I regard the iPhone 3G primarily as an internet device and media player that has the cute feature allowing you to make calls and send SMS.

That being said, if you are a heavy SMS user, then the iPhone is not for you. That’s because you will have to unlearn everything you know about text-typing all these years — and that is a hard thing to do for most phone users. So if you belong to that crowd, you can stop here and move on to the next page.

However, if you are open to trying out a new interface, I’m sure you’ll enjoy the intuitive touch screen of the iPhone.

The Killer Feature: iPhone App Store
With the new iPhone 4.0 software and the recent introduction of the iPhone App Store, extending the features of your iPhone 3G becomes almost limitless. Thousands of applications and games were developed and available for free or a fee (as low as $0.99 each). The wealth of games found in the iPhone via the App Store makes gaming on the mobile phone like the second coming of Snakes on the Nokia phone over a decade ago.

The Good

• The real estate is in the screen and you get 3.5″ of that. The large and crisp display is what makes internet surfing and watching videos enjoyable on the iPhone.
• The built-in Safari browser that allows zooming in and out of objects and webpages is a great feature that almost mimics the full browsing experience (minus Flash & Java apps).
• Full-featured connectivity — WiFi 802.11 b/g, Bluetooth, 3G and GPS. You can’t ask for anything more.
• Push and Fetch Data allows you to set the phone to receive email and other data from the server (MobileMe) as well as a fetch options (in intervals of 15 mins, 30 mins,hourly or manually) for other emails that do not support the Push function.
• Ample storage for photos, videos and music the new iPhone 3G comes in 16GB and 32GB.
• Synchronized email, contacts and calendar management. Works best with a MobileMe account.

The Bad

• It’s a battery hog. You can easily drain it up in a single day with all the music, video, WiFi and 3G use. My average is one and a half days so I charge it up almost every day. Always bring your chargers with you.
• It’s close to impossible text-typing with a single hand. I think 90+% of all iPhone owners use both hands when text-typing. You need full concentration and all eyes to use it (unlike the regular phone keypads where people can type without even looking).
• Does not support Flash and Java reliant websites and there are tons of websites that heavily use them.
• Comes with a hefty price.

The Ugly

• Predictive text input is a nice feature. It’s available on almost all phones. Problem is, you can’t turn it off on the iPhone so if you’re texting in a different language, it will suck big time.
• No built-in copy & paste function. Them Nokia phones have it, why not the iPhone?
• Unlike what Steve Jobs said in his announcement, the iPhone 3G is not any thinner than the old iPhone. The curvy design of the back panel gives that illusion but it’s actually thicker.
• The built-in speakers ain’t that loud enough and they’re placed at the bottom end of the iPhone. It works but it’s just regular speakers.
• The 2MP camera takes decent pictures but there’s no flash or autofocus function. You can’t use this on low light.
• In iPod mode, the iPhone makes it a little hard to navigate between songs as controls are done via touchscreen. That means you need to unlock the iPhone from sleep mode everytime you want to skip or move on to the next song. There should be some physical button to do this simple job (just like the regular iPods) but I think a shake control using the accelerometer should do the trick. Apple tried to solve this by using the headphone as the physical control using single or double clicks to navigate songs forward.
• Smudge magnet. Makes you wanna wipe the screen every other minute.

Less of a Phone, More of an Internet Device
Let me say that again — the iPhone 3G is more of an internet device rather than a phone. I use it more to surf the net or play some casual games than to make calls or SMS people.

It took Apple, a new player in the mobile market, to change how the rest of the old players in the industry move forward in innovating mobile devices. Without the iPhone, we would not have seen the likes of Samsung Instinct, Omnia i900, HTC Touch Diamond, LG Dare and Sony-Ericsson Xperia this early.

Another one here. You'll never stop laughing watching this, I rest assure you.

I never stop watching this. It really helps relieving stress after a toxic day of work. Hope you enjoy it too guyz.

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
Pablo Picasso.

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
Rich Cook.

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer."
Rita May Brown.

"All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men."
Isaac Asimov.

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
Paul Ehrlich.

"The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity."
Patrick Murray.

"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers."
Leonard Brandwein.

"UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity."
Dennis Ritchie.

"The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again."
Al Goodman.

"The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit."
Eric Porterfield.

Cat Schwartz, "The Hi-Tech Mommy", is giving an inside look at some of this summer's high-tech gadgets that go above and beyond the ordinary. The latest and greatest in gadgets and technology include Alpine's GPS device, the "Blackbird," Dish Network's High Definition DVR, Samsung's digital camera, the L77, Computer Associates' Internet Security Suite, and the Hybrid GP Air Purifier from Sharper Image.

US technology giant Google Inc. has recently introduced its latest smartphone called Nexus One which uses Android platform and has been designed by Taiwanese mobile phone maker HTC.

Just like most multi-media phones today, this Google phone features Internet capability and supports 3G and Wi-Fi connectivity. And to prevent lagging while doing web browsing, the device also has a 512 MB RAM, something to be considered high for a mobile phone.

Consumers can also expect a relatively impressive built-in camera that features 5-megapixel resolution, video capability (at 720 x 480 pixels at 20 frames per second or higher), LED flash, geo-tagging capability for providing input in every photo, and autofocus from 6 cm to infinity. However, one major downside of the built-in camera is that it only has 2 x digital zoom which is lower compared to other smartphones in the market today.

To allow users to conveniently browse the Internet, view photos, and watch videos, this mobile phone boasts a 3.7-inch (diagonal measurement) widescreen display that support 800 x 480 pixels, 1ms response rate, 100,000 x 1 contrast ratio, touchscreen feature, and WGA image technology.

Other features include Bluetooth connectivity, Micro SD slot which can support up to 32 GB memory card, speaker, Micro USB port, dock pin connectors, microphone with noise-cancelling technology, clickable trackball, SIM card slot, and rechargeable lithium-ion battery.

Meanwhile, Nexus One will not have a tie up with any communication service provider which means that consumers can choose any wireless carrier they want, thus also allowing them to select the one that will provide the best service and deal.

According to technology blog Gizmodo, this Google phone will come at a retail price of about $530. Also, technology experts believe that the smartphone will be directly shipped by the company itself.

On the other hand, some analysts believe that this new Google smartphone will irk some phone companies that use the technology firm’s Android platform which has been lauded for its fast processing and interactive features.

Few months ago, Google has been dropping hints on its plan to introduce its own line of Android-based smartphones in an effort to compete with iPhone which is the best-selling mobile phone device in the US.

My Touch Keys is a plastic protection cover which has been specifically designed for iPods. With this device, users can protect various parts of their portable media players while allowing them to type letters from their keypads with much ease and comfort.

This plastic overlay covers the entire screen of iPods except the home button and the letters from the keypads. With this design, this transparent protection does not impede users to enjoy various controls and applications of their iPods.

This cover provides an impressive tactile-feedback and allows people to conveniently use the touch-sensitive screen technology features of their iPods. According to some of its users who hade made comments about this product, the cover allows them to type words much faster and help them to further exploit the QWERTY keypads with much ease.

The transparent screen protector is designed to provide cutouts which snugly fit all the keys on the QWERTY keypads located on the media players’ large screen. With this design which further improves the tactile feedback, users can feel each location of the letter since the textured surface can help them recognize by touch the letters, reducing the incidence of typographical errors and help them to type faster and with much comfort.

This transparent protection provides a solution for iPod users who find it very difficult to type each letter on the touch screen. The reason for this is its too much dependence on the touch-sensitive technology that makes most users—especially those who are more familiar to use ordinary cell phones—to adapt this feature since touch sensitivity technology does not provide tactile feedback. With this transparent protection cover, people can literally feel each letters which would make it easier and faster to type on the iPods’ screen.

My Touch Keys comes at suggested retail price of only $7.99, a very reasonable price since this transparent cover protection will help iPod users to maximize their use of this portable media player.

Apple has recently unveiled one of the most exciting versions of its renowned music player called iPod Nano 3G TV.

Unlike the traditional shape of iPod Nano series, the new Nano 3G TV has been designed to accommodate a “mini-wide screen” 2-inch LCD display which is perfect for watching videos.

Meanwhile, the design of this device allows its manufacturer to fit it with a bigger QVGA display or with a 320 x 240 image resolution.

And unlike the previous models, the picture quality on the new iPod is outstanding considering its small LCD. Though one question users may ask when confronted with a small screen is: “How exactly are you going to watch videos with this?”

According to Apple CEO Steve Jobs, the inclusion of video support to the device is only for occasional TV or video watching.

The iPod Nano 3G TV hosts the newest split screen interface, also a first to all iPod models. The split screen works like a “start” button on the computer, the list of tracks and options are listed on the left side of the screen, while pictures, images, and icons are displayed on the right side.

But according to sources, the company still has to perfect the new split screen design to this device as it also hosts a list of major problems. One of the glitches cited is the slow animation of the art/album cover. (Users might need extra seconds just to see what the album cover looks like.)

Also, the CoverFlow interface option which is unique to the iPhone, is also slow. But the new iPod has more than 24-hours of battery life for audio, and five hours for video playback.

The iPod Nano 3G TV also has gaming feature, but only three out of 20 iPod games will be available, which include Ms. Pac-Man, Sudoku, and Tetris.

The 16GB model is available in many colors but the 4GB version is only offered in silver. Meanwhile, the iPod Nano 4GB and 8GB cost $149 and $199, respectively.

Technology company Apple Inc. has recently introduced its latest product called iPad which is a multimedia device that features interactive technologies and touchscreen display that allows users to browse through the Internet, watch videos and photos, and use emails.



This multimedia gadget, which resembles a typical e-book reader, boasts a screen display which can support vibrant colors and sharp texts—a feature which is very important when watching videos and photos. In addition, the screen uses touch-sensitive technology that allows users to zoom in and out a photo by simply “pinching” it; scroll through a page by flicking a finger; and move from one page to another by tapping the screen.

Another notable feature is the iBooks app which allows users to download free books from the App Store or buy copies from iBookstore. With this feature, they can also read in high-resolution LED-backlight screen that supports clear texts even in low light condition.

In addition, this device can support up to 140,000 apps from App Store which include games and business apps.

For business travellers and tourists, iPad can help them locate their destinations as it supports Google Services which include high-resolution topography, close-up of street view, and important landmarks and basic services (such as restaurants, hotels, gas stations, etc.).

Just like most computer tablets, iPad has an onscreen keyboard and a note-taking page that will allow users to jot down memos in an instant. Also, the screen automatically circles the current notes in red which will serve as a reminder.

As a multimedia device, this latest Apple product has a calendar feature that allows users to schedule meetings, tasks, and outings, thus making it easier for them to juggle their time. In addition, the gadget has Contacts app that will allow users to find names, contact numbers, and other important information.

In terms of intuitive interface, iPad features a home screen that allows people to access applications by simply tapping the panel. This feature is further complemented with Spotlight Search that allows users to search downloaded apps from App Store.

Microsoft has recently unveiled a mobile phone designed for social networking addicts who want to get convenient and fast access to popular online communities such as Facebook and Twitter.com.

The phone is named “Kin One” (its more powerful version is named “Kin Two) which will be available in the US next month through Verizon Wireless before being introduced to other European countries.

While there are countless of phones designed for social networking, Microsoft’s latest product does not stand out from the rest, or if it does, it is because it lacks features that would be considered by most consumers as deal-breakers.

One of the most disturbing downsides of this phone is the lack of application support despite the proliferation of smartphones in the market which offer thousands of apps. Take for example Android phones, iPhone models, and BlackBerry phones which can support thousands of applications ranging from games, music, office use, to entertainment and GPS technology.

Another deal-breaker is the phone’s OS. Using the current mobile technology of Microsoft, the company did not incorporate the Windows 7 operating system which could have made the mobile phone more powerful. However, the company has promised that this OS will be available in the new version which will be introduced tentatively in the fourth quarter of this year.

While the technology giant boasts that Kin One is highly-designed for young consumers addicted to social networking, surprisingly, the phone does not allow users to share photos and videos through microblogging Twitter. Such downside is such a waste since the phone has a relatively impressive built-in camera which has 5-megapixel resolutions, auto flash (which makes it possible to capture images in low-light condition), and other image technologies.

On the brighter side, the phone has touch sensitive screen, media player which is powered by Zune, 4 gigabytes (which can store up to 1,000 songs), and lastly, cheaper price compared to most popular smartphones.

However, a cheap price does not make the phone worthy of purchase for most users especially for those who are web-centric denizens or those who rely on their phones for certain business applications like word document and PDF file support.

We look back at some of the best tech from last week's Gadget Show Live and take you behind the scenes of the super theatre show! For more videos, news and reviews go to http://fwd.five.tv/gadget-show

Some killer James Bond-style gadgets, designed to foil crime in the 1950s. After all, who could afford to live without a telescopic suitcase?

This is isn’t the first spy camera I’ve come across that’s placed inside a belt buckle, but this is definitely the most classy way to pull it off. Nothing says elegant like a Playboy Bunny belt buckle. Then to give it a whole new level of chic, you throw in a spy camera right at waist height. With this belt you’ll be ready to go for your next night of expensive strippers and keep up your reputation as the local peeping tom.

It has a USB cable to come with it as well as a driver disk. Then within the camera itself is a time setting function, a reset button, manual video recording and acoustic control recording automatically. The video is set at 720 by 480 resolution. Then as far as memory goes it has 16GB built into the belt. In order to purchase this belt it’ll cost you $43 from Shopkami.

Source: ChipChick

This may look like yet another dorky Ipod knock off that will never look as good as the original, but it has an extra angle. This fake iPod doesn’t play any music, instead it spies on everyone around you. Sure, it’s less than subtle when there’s a hole right in the center of what looks like it should be a screen, but if the people you’re spying on are complete morons you’ll be just fine.
This spy camera has a whole lot of ways to set it up and make it look even more dorky. You can mount it on the wall with the included 360-degree stand or set it on the table using that same stand. You can also get a few extra style points by wearing it around your neck. It requires a Micro SD/SDHC memory card to store all of your video or images within. It can capture film at 25 frames per second, has a color video resolution of 640 by 480 pixels and an image resolution of 1600 by 1200 pixels. It also has built-in audio and a rechargeable Li-ion battery. You can purchase it for $39 or get a 8GB card with it and pay $66 total.

Source: Geekalerts

1. Triton 1000 Luxury Submersible - $1,690,000
   

   The Triton 1000 is U.S. Submarines’ latest light weight, minimum volume 2-person configuration engineered specifically for deployment from megayachts. With an overall height of 1.8 meters and an overall length of only 3.0 meters the Triton will fit on many mid-level boat decks, and at 3.3 tons it can often be launched with existing davit systems.

   In addition to its megayacht-friendly features, the Triton design provides for excellent visibility and high levels of comfort with luxury leather seating and full air conditioning for your rich and cultured tastes.

   Although the Triton has been designed to be easy to pilot, with intuitive joystick controls and a computer based monitoring system, U.S. Submarine still provides piloting and maintenance training at no additional cost making this multi-million dollar purchase truly worth-it!

2. The Flying 19XRW Hoverwing Hovercraft - $5,200
   

   Bored of living the high-life? Then take your cronies along for the ride in this truly unique machine. The UH-19XRW Hoverwing from Universal Hovercraft is a unique hovercraft with wings that allow it to fly up to an altitude of six feet above the earth’s surface. This “ground-effect” enables you to clear obstacles and fly over rough water for a smooth and enjoyable ride. Operating in ground-effect does not require a pilot’s license, and the craft is normally registered as a boat in most areas.

   With it’s wings removed, the Hoverwing is a sleek, high performance hovercraft, able to carry 4 to 6 passengers into brand new areas that can’t be reached with any other vehicle. The Hoverwing can be configured in many different ways to accommodate passengers or equipment needs.

3. Tecnologia Aeroespacial Mexicana’s Rocket-Belts - $250,000
   

   These real-life working Rocket Belts are from Tecnologia Aeroespacial Mexicana. And with some impressive moolah, you could be soaring the skies in your very own, custom built Rocket Belt at more than 10 miles an hour. These James Bond looking devices aren’t new, they’re an old idea from the 1960s during which the US Military was looking for ways in which a man or woman could safely cross rivers and ravines quickly.

   Once you’ve plonked down $250,000 for one of these “kerjiggers”, the company will provide you with a fully-tested, custom-made flying rocket belt, a special machine to make our own unlimited supply of rocket fuel, hands-on training in the process and the equipment, flight training of 10 flights in your own rocket belt, maintenance and setup training, and 24/7 expert support. Sounds like a good deal for the adventurous millionaire, and a sure fire way to make even more money by running your own Rocket Man shows!

4. The Hovering “Lounger” Lounge Chair by HoverIT - $13,366
   This hovering wonder looks like it came straight off a scene of Star Trek but is instead part of HoverIT’s latest range of levitating furniture. This lounge chair uses four extremely powerful permanent magnets to levitate itself above the ground. As you can see, it is made of toughened acrylic that you can place cushions and other niceties to make your lounging experience even more comfortable. HoverIT also claims that the magnetic fields produced by this levitating lounge chair can also soothe headaches and ease muscle and joint pain. Caster wheels are built into the unit to allow you to move it to any desired location.
5. Luvaglio’s First Luxury Notebook - $1,000,000
   UK-based bespoke luxury goods Game-Guide-Polo creator Luvaglio has created the first million dollar laptop. It incorporates a 17″ widescreen LED backlit screen, 128GB SSD and a slot loading Blue-Ray drive. A very rare coloured diamond piece of jewellery doubles up as the power button when placed into the laptop and also acts as security identification.

   Luvaglio’s initial clients will be chosen for selection as they have already established trust with them. Clients will be able to design their own laptop by visiting Luvaglio’s showrooms at two or three well known upmarket stores, whereby their selection of materials, finishes and accessories will be available to view and a choice selected.

6. Panasonic 103 inch PDP Widescreen - $70,000
   The Panasonic 103″ PDP offers a 16-bit widescreen progressive display featuring full HD (1,920 x 1,080) resolution, a contrast ratio of 5,000:1, and 4,096 equivalent steps of colour gradation. The 2 Mega Pixel resolution is comparable in size to four 50″ Panasonic plasma displays.

   New image-enhancing technologies reproduce crisp, film-like motion images at 1920 x 1080 pixels. The Real Black Creation color-enhancing feature produces high-contrast and rich, deep blacks. A Contrast Management system that optimizes the contrast for each individual portion of the image displayed and a high-precision Motion Pattern Noise Reduction circuit adjusts the image to optimize picture quality by detecting motion patterns that generate noise.

7. DI Vapor’s Cosmo TV Luxury Tub - $7,000
   Di Vapor’s Cosmo B-DV003 TV bathtub sports a 17″ waterproof LCD and remote control with video input to connect a DVD player, TV, etc. It’s also has a touch sensitive control Panel, Timed Auto Shut-off function for Jets, 7 Hydro massage jets, 9 bubble jets, 6 back massage jets, Adjustable Water Jets, Underwater Light, Fully Programmable FM radio with Memory Function, a Hand shower, a Water Level Sensor, a Single Padded Head Rest and “breathe!” a RCD (Residual Current Device) for Safety. Phew!
   
8. Venturi Fetish Sports Electric Vehicle - $660,000
   This mean looking machine is the Venturi Fétish. The world’s first production two-seater electric sports car that is produced by Venturi in Monaco. The car’s acceleration is comparable to a normal internal combustion engined sports car, producing approximately 250 horsepower, with a 0-100 km/h time of under 5 seconds. Its top speed is 160 km/h, which is respectable considering that it only has one gear.

   One other particular attraction of the car is that due to the electric traction motor, the full 220 Nm torque is available at all motor speeds including from a dead stop. It has range of 250 km and uses lithium ion accumulators, offering a complete recharge in 1 hour or in 3 hours with a standard grid thanks to its onboard charger.

   As an added bonus, each Venturi Fetish comes with WiMax connectivity.

9. Sooloos Sound System - $12,000
   

   The Sooloos Sound System actually consists of a range of storage, audio and control products. The picture above feature’s the Sooloos “Control:One” Touchscreen panel that lets you select songs to play on your Sooloos Sound System.

   To store songs imported into Sooloos from your CDs or PC, you’ll have to purchase the “Twinstore”, a liquid cooled and ultra quiet 1 Terabyte mirrored RAID storage system. Playback of music is achieved via “sources” which are basically digital-analog converters that allow the system to interact with analog speaker systems such as your Infinite Wisdom Grande speaker set. Sources can be installed anywhere you need your music played.

   The Sooloos System can also be controlled via a PC, iPhone or even your web browser. You can order a system with all your music preloaded inside, and if you wish to purchase more CDs through Sooloos, they will send you your CDs plus a specially-encoded disc that allows your new music to be downloaded into your Sooloos system in a matter of minutes.

10. The Dry Water Massager - $29,500
    

    This… Dry Water Massager used to be a spa staple of five-star resorts. However, if you’ve got a lot of spare cash lying around things could be different now… The 28 nozzles inside the canopy emulate a shiatsu style massage throughout your body. An aroma diffuser also compliments the full service massage experience with essential oils to soothe and relax. And if all that wasn’t enough, the opening inside the face rest lets you view an integrated 7 inch LCD and DVD player as well as providing iPod connectivity which you can listen to via the included Bose headphones.

11. The Ferguson Hill Horn Speaker System w/ Subwoofer - $17,581
    

    These horned shaped loudspeakers are produced by Fergusen Hill and operate from 150Hz - 20KHz, with no crossover. They reproduce music with a high level of clarity, detail and dynamics. The horn design makes them highly efficient, needing just 5 watts to go loud. This allows their use with relatively low powered amplifiers further increasing the level of clarity obtainable.

    Recommended amplifier power is 3 to 50 watts. They are ideally suited to low power valve amps, and also work well with high quality transistor amps. Fergusen Hill provides demonstrations with your choice of amp.

12. Power-Assisted Suitcase - $1,365
    

    British luxury bag-maker LiveLuggage has given the suitcase a makeover with its unique power-assisted suitcase – a suitcase that does the work for you. It draws it power from an internal rechargeable battery that you will need to plug into the wall to juice up before a big trip.

    But once on the go, its creators claim it should be good for about two hours of usage, or a full 1.75 miles. And if that terrain includes downhills, the suitcase will not only shut down its motors to conserve energy, it will recharge it with the same type of regenerative braking system found in hybrid cars.

    Unfortunately, they have yet to invent a Power-SUIT for those absolutely lazy people…now that would be something!

13. 1 Teraflop SuperComputer for the Rich and Famous - $27,220
    

    HighImpactPC provides extreme computer solutions for your home or office. They have a PS3 Supercomputer cluster, theoretically capable of 1 Teraflop of performance power for $27,200. They also have extreme gaming computers if you do not need as much power. A system with 8GB of RAM, 2x 1GB Nvidia GeForce Graphics cards, 1.5 Terabytes of storage with a dual 25″ monitor setup for $7,580.

    They build custom computers for the rich and famous.

14. Icon A5 Personal Aircraft - $139,000
    

    The graceful dragonfly pictured above is an ICON A5, a two-seat sport airplane aimed at the masses. Designed for ease of piloting, the lightweight personal aircraft is amphibious with retractable landing gear for flying off land and water alike. The A5 features a carbon fiber airframe, a 100-hp/120-mph Rotax 912 ULS engine (that runs on both auto and aviation gas), and folding wings that allow it to be stored at home and towed on the highway with a trailer.

    The A5 comes with a plethora of safety features. Included are a propeller guard, wing angle of attack indicator, and a huge, built-in parachute that helps the entire plane come down a little easier in an emergency. It will be available by 2010 at a cost of $139,000. So just keep rolling your money around for a little longer…

15. Solo Solar Table - $14,000
    This hightech table top is the SOLo Lounge Table created by iF. It combines the functionality of an eco-friendly solar panel with minimalist modern design that befits the tag of the ideal lounge table.

    Using Bluetooth technology, SOLo collects distributes and exhibits information on the tabletop LCD display as well as between computers and on the internet via a wireless connection.

    This Green Appliance also lets you charge your PMPs and laptops via three USB ports as the silicon cells embedded in its glass surface of the table collect and convert solar energy into 17+ kilowatts of clean, green electricity. In the evening, the internal LED lights of the table provide an intimate glow that makes this lounge table a truly high end furnishing.

16. The Infinite Wisdom Grande Speaker System - $70,000
    Grand…Grander….Oh! Ho! Ho! Ho! GRANDE! The Infinite Wisdom Grande is unlike any other system ever produced, it was conceived for environments too large for other systems, including multi-level rooms in the largest homes and palaces, great halls and ballrooms. (Did Saddam Hussein have a few of these?)

    It achieves high sound pressure levels in excess of 120 dB in an effortless manner with unequaled refinement. At levels below 110 dB, each transducer is operating at a fraction of their potential and, consequently, within their lowest distortion range. This contributes to the extraordinary detail, clarity, absence of dynamic compression, natural timbre reproduction.

    This absolutely awesome system offers a unique solution for those discerning music lovers with large-scale environments unsuitable for lesser systems.

17. Terra Wind Amphibious RV - $850,000
    

    Now the problem is…with so many wonderful gadgets, how is one to bring all of them on a lovely summer vacation? The answer? The Terra Wind Amphibious RV! This custom built RV is decked out with more luxuries internally than most people have in their homes. Apart from allowing you to take your life’s possessions wherever you travel, this Amphibious RV lets you avoid traffic and even the cops by allowing you to take a more aquatic route. We expect that rich James-Bond types will buy this truly unique behemoth of a vehicle. (Gun turrets, radar and missile launchers not included)

This concludes our incredibly excessive and incredibily interesting article! If you, our dear reader’s come across anymore items of extreme luxury, do leave a post, I’m sure everyone would be thoroughly interested Till next time! And don’t forget that compound-interest works wonders…

Introducing Project Natal, a revolutionary new way to play: no controller required. See a ball? Kick it, hit it, trap it or catch it. If you know how to move your hands, shake your hips or speak you and your friends can jump into the fun -- the only experience needed is life experience.

There are some cool products out there. There are cool promotional items and cool innovations. But gadgets are the epitome of cool. So cool that many would sell their own mothers to get what they've been waiting for. Almost everyday a new gadget comes along, and the one you have is then kind of old already, even if you bought it a couple of weeks ago. However, truly cool gadgets, those that you would really die for (like, say, the iPhone) are rarer. 2010 will be a great year for technology. Once the crisis is -we hope- somewhat over, tech companies will strive to get new customers, and will compete like never before with cutting edge design and technology. So get ready: here's the top 5 list of cool gadgets for 2010:



1. XBox 360 : Ever heard of Project Natal? If you spend more than half an hour on the Web a day, you probably have. Otherwise, please first check out this YouTube video. Impressed? Well, after Nintendo's Wii, Microsoft had to do something about its own console. And since the Wii was such a big hit, this one has to be bigger. Project Natal will definitely score some big points for the Redmond company.





2. Ford's MyKey: If you give your car to your kids frequently, you might find that it sometimes gets hard to sleep well when they're out, as you're worried about what could happen to them. That's why next year Ford's releasing MyKey, which uses a chip in the car's ignition key so that the driver cannot exceed 80 mph. It can also be programmed to limit the car's audio levels and to sound loud alerts if the driver's not wearing a seatbelt.



3. Dual Touch Screen Laptop: We've already witnessed top-notch laptops with touch screens. But what about dual touch screens? Apparently, the Italian firm V12 Designs will launch its new version of Canova, a dual LCD laptop. This time, both will be touch screens.



4. 4G Phones. The real download speed of most 3G phones is not more than 384 Kbps, and sometimes a lot less. That's because it might have a 3 Mbps announced download speed, but the real one is a lot less. The 4G phones promise data transfers of 100 Mbps, and could reach up to 1 gigabit per second when static. That could mean downloading a full length DVD movie in about a minute.



5. Hydrogen Rulz! Hydrogen powered phones might be the next big thing. French researchers will probably announce by next year that a hydrogen fuel could be used as backup power source for mobile communications, letting users have some independence from electricity supplies to charge up their phones.

Technology tends to surprise us, so probably next year we'll see a gadget we haven't ever heard about. But these certainly make any tech-savvy person very much intrigued and anxious about what next year will bring. Don't you feel the same?